10 posts tagged “travel”

Apparently this is a real letter received by the Virgin Airlines customer service team.  I've had some pretty bad airline meals but thankfully nothing as bad as this one.

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Dear Mr Branson

REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008

I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.

Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at the hands of your corporation.

Look at this Richard. Just look at it:

I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?

You don't get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it's next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That's got to be the clue hasn't it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in:

I know it looks like a baaji but it's in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you'll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It's only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.

Anyway, this is all irrelevant at the moment. I was raised strictly but neatly by my parents and if they knew I had started desert before the main course, a sponge shaft would be the least of my worries. So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what's on offer.

I'll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sat their with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this:

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It's mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.

Once it was regurgitated it was clearly then blended and mixed with a bit of mustard. Everybody likes a bit of mustard Richard.

By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycaemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it's baffling presentation:

It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn't want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.

I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was relax but obviously I had to sit with that mess in front of me for half an hour. I swear the sponge shafts moved at one point.

Once cleared, I decided to relax with a bit of your world-famous onboard entertainment. I switched it on:

 

I apologise for the quality of the photo, it's just it was incredibly hard to capture Boris Johnson's face through the flickering white lines running up and down the screen. Perhaps it would be better on another channel: 

Is that Ray Liotta? A question I found myself asking over and over again throughout the gruelling half-hour I attempted to watch the film like this. After that I switched off. I'd had enough. I was the hungriest I'd been in my adult life and I had a splitting headache from squinting at a crackling screen.

My only option was to simply stare at the seat in front and wait for either food, or sleep. Neither came for an incredibly long time. But when it did it surpassed my wildest expectations:

Yes! It's another crime-scene cookie. Only this time you dunk it in the white stuff.

Richard.... What is that white stuff? It looked like it was going to be yoghurt. It finally dawned on me what it was after staring at it. It was a mixture between the Baaji custard and the Mustard sauce. It reminded me of my first week at university. I had overheard that you could make a drink by mixing vodka and refreshers. I lied to my new friends and told them I'd done it loads of times. When I attempted to make the drink in a big bowl it formed a cheese Richard, a cheese. That cheese looked a lot like your baaji-mustard.

So that was that Richard. I didn't eat a bloody thing. My only question is: How can you live like this? I can't imagine what dinner round your house is like, it must be like something out of a nature documentary.

As I said at the start I love your brand, I really do. It's just a shame such a simple thing could bring it crashing to it's knees and begging for sustenance.

Yours Sincererly...

I really miss Vietnamese food and the coffee!  If you buy fruit in season from the streets or the markets, it was always sweet and fresh.  I loved the dragonfruit there, it was really sweet and seriously oversized.  On occasion, one dragonfruit was enough for dinner.

On the other hand, the supermarkets were abysmal.  I don't know if it was because I was staying in the middle of town so the supermarkets & mini marts didn't get regular deliveries but managing to buy something you'd planned to buy is really like striking lottery.  I was stalking the mini mart near my apartment on a daily basis for over 2 weeks trying to buy a refill for my (locally made) mosquito repellent, don't think they've actually got any kind of a replenishment or just in time system.

Other than pho, I really loved bun thit nuong.  This is a cold dish of rice noodles (kind of like chor bee hoon), grilled pork and bean sprouts served with a doctored sauce consisting mainly of fish sauce.  Yum!   Does anyone know if this is available anywhere in Singapore?

Other than that, my other favorite was Banh Mi.  S$0.55 got me a fresh (depending on when I bought it) french style bread stuffed with slices of ham, pate, pickles and herbs.  My Vietnamese colleagues were puzzled that I could eat this for lunch, to them this was a snack or breakfast. 

This one below is the upmarket version, it comes in a plastic bag with a toothpick.  There is a lady banh mi seller around the corner from my apartment just used to wrap hers up in a page torn from a magazine... more environmentally friendly and something for locals to read while they are eating  ;)

From a local coffee shop behind the Ben Thanh market:

The wires and cables drive me crazy.  The day someone figures out a universal power cable, I'll be first in line to buy it

I think all my wires, cables, adaptors, etc came up to nearly 5 kg  :P

from those Aussie flies and hayfever   :P  

 

On the other hand, this is my fifth visit to Melbourne and it's finally actually hot!  I used to think summers were a myth here in Melbourne so it's a surprise to say the least

Yay, finally booked my tickets to Australia.  Due to the ever soaring Aussie dollar, this needs to be a cheap holiday.  Really cheap.  I'm going budget all the way, Tiger Airways from Singapore to Perth and from Melbourne to Singapore then Virginblue from Perth to Melbourne in between.  Total was almost $400 less than what Qantas was asking so it's worth a try.  I've never taken such a long flight on a budget airline before (the Melbourne - Singapore flight stops over in Darwin) so keeping my fingers crossed it won't be too uncomfortable.

Pity I can't go til end of November, wish I could spare the time to get away in Sept since I really do need a break.

I spent some time today trying to find 10 to 12 clear days on my schedule to organize a trip to Australia.  At this stage, the only possibility seems to be the end of Sept / early Oct.  I'm planning 4 or 5 days in Perth with the remainder in Melbourne.  Go so far already might as well go and visit my brother right?  The best ticket price I got on Qantas is still over 1k for the entire journey, should I wait til the Sept Natas Fair to see if there are any cheap flights available?  Qantas does hold winter ticket promotions so it's likely they will offer a special fare but since my travel dates are quite tight, it might not work out if I wait and the dates I want are not available any more.  *sigh*  Decisions decisions....

Spent just one night here yesterday, hotel seems very new.  Room was not bad as you can see but those people who like a soft bed will not be able to sleep.  I like a firm mattress so no problem for me  :)

I was lucky enough to get a room facing the sea so had an amazing view.  Pity the tide was so low and the windows don't open, it was kind of hard getting a good shot.  To avoid a funky reflection in my photo of the sunrise I had to lean against the window at a certain angle which caused one side of the picture to look really dark.  Gotta work on my photo taking skills (such as they are)

I have a thing about toiletry bags.  I used to have a wonderful huge toiletry pouch from Marks & Spencers which held everything.  It finally fell apart last year and ever since then, I've been on the hunt for a decent replacement. 

I don't know how or why but instead of trying to find one large bag to replace that M&S pouch, I've ended up buying an assortment of small pouches that don't seem to quite fit my needs.  This is what I bought today from the Nike shop

It's got a hot pink interior and lots of pockets which I like but somehow I don't think this is going to be "just right" either since it's actually not all that big.   It's kind of ironic that there was a really large Mens toiletry pouch at the shop when everyone knows us gals have more beauty & skincare stuff to haul around.  I might have bought it anyway but it was a really boring grey/black color  :P   My colleague pointed out that it's easier to pack when I have several small pouches I could stuff into odd corners of my suitcase but I still like throwing everything into one pouch and knowing all my makeup, skincare and toiletries are inside rather than digging through several pouches to find what I want. 

And the search continues....

Why I dislike my hotel:

 

• lousy and expensive food at breakfast
• complimentary mineral water was pretty awful, the water actually tastes salty.  Yuck!
• expensive internet access (RM60/hour)
• insane keycard system that doesn't like me.  I can't get the lift to work or the room door lock to work.  When I need to enter, I spend 2 to 3 minutes at my door trying to open it but when security finally notices me on the security camera and sends someone to help, then the door opens.  Super embarrassing and frustrating. 
• Had a creepy crawlie in my room last night that had a pincer.  I kid you not.  It was probably bad karma but I smashed it to smithereens with the coffee pot and was so freaked grossed out that I couldn't even bring myself to clean up the dead carcass until this morning.   I probably imported the creepy crawlie into the room myself with some fruit that I bought but still...  Good thing I don't believe in karma.
• It doesn't have MTV, Discovery T&L or E! Entertainment.  What person can exist on just the biz, sport and news channels?  The most entertaining it gets is Star Movies and Discovery Channel  :P 

Blech.  

Added June 15

Maybe I just needed to bitch and blog about that stupid keycard system but I've finally gotten the hang of it (after 5 days!).  Now I can get the door & lift to work after just trying a couple of times.  I felt so much better last night when I got into the lift with a group of Japanese businessmen who also couldn't get their cards to work and also saw someone 3 doors down struggling with their card.  At least I know I'm not the only one that had to get rescued & helped into my room by the hotel security.  And of course, I finally get the hang of the keycard and I'm going home tomorrow  :P

 

This has been my home for the last 3 days and will be until Saturday.  While the room is comfy, customer service is not as good as I would expect.  The breakfast buffet is huge but food is not very nice and waaay too expensive.  

 

 

 

So what have I bought so far?

 

 

 

 

I'm broke remember?  (that's what I have to keep reminding myself)